I found myself so discouraged at the thought of being a “fluffy mid-thirties divorcee”. It was like everything I had been working toward had been ripped away from me.
What can I say? I’ve never been a thin girl. From a young age, we are shown a bmi scale that tells us that unless we’re rail thin, we’re obese and need a life change. My marriage wasn’t exactly the happiest and I felt less and less beautiful. Definitely not good enough physically for the person I was with as time went by.
Unless we have a certain body type, we’ll never look like those perfect, airbrushed models. And those clothes will never look quite as good on us. Another constant reminder that my body wasn’t what it could or should look like.
But I came across a few social accounts focusing on body positivity and self love that I found incredibly inspiring. I started seeing things in a new light. That was all the start to my journey to self love. I started learning to love the body that I have NOW, not the body that I want to have.
“So I spent a year relearning to love the new ME and finding my long lost confidence. It’s been a long year of discovery and growth, but I can finally say, I LOVE MYSELF.”
My body is healthy and does exactly what it was made to do and how beautiful is that in itself? Our bodies are beautiful miracles.
So when my best friend and I came across Kristen, we knew we had to do this! We’ve both been interested in boudoir shoots and thought, why not! No reason to put it off.
I booked my day. It wasn’t until later that I realized, my shoot would be happening on the one year anniversary of my divorce. What better way to celebrate the new person I have become. I was thrilled!
I was nervous on session day. Less nervous about someone seeing me in my underwear. More nervous that I would be awkward and it would show. That I would frustrate Kristen by looking like a stiff mannequin.
But the second I showed up, it was like being greeted by an old friend! She has a way of calming you down and feeling relaxed. Step by step, she showed me exactly what to do. There was no guesswork involved. It was so relaxing and fun! We chatted and told stories and laughed during the whole shoot. There was never a moment I felt awkward or self conscious of my body or myself. I felt fabulous the whole time.
“Reveal day was the part I was most nervous about. I figured, well, if I don’t like my pictures, it won’t be a complete loss because the experience itself was 100% worth it (still completely agree with that). But when I saw my pictures I thought, “Wow, that’s me!” I was amazed by what I saw and still am honestly. She is an artist. And these photos made me look elegant, sassy, and so many things that I never expected to feel about myself!”
The best part of the whole experience? I walked out of there on session day feeling like a different person and that hasn’t gone away.
I feel more confident and aware of myself than I did before. And when I have moments of self doubt, I can look at my photos and have a reminder of the way I’m feeling. And a reminder that I am beautiful!
For anyone that is on the fence about doing their shoot, if there’s no other reason to do it, you should do it for that alone- for the confidence and reminder of your beauty.
