After having my son, I lost that self love and even self care. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. When I signed up for the boudoir photoshoot I was still in that negative space. I wanted to do something out of the box to help put things in perspective. I was so nervous for the shoot. Part of me didn’t want to go.
“Today’s beauty standards are simply unrealistic. What many of us (including myself) seem to forget is that not even those women look like that.”
It’s very confusing, especially for young ladies out there. I had my first child about 10 months ago and had an unreal expectation that I would bounce back. Well, that just didn’t happen. I had to remind myself that no matter what the media portrays as beautiful I am also beautiful.
That morning I was still nervous but I was also excited. Excited to do something for me and to hopefully see myself in a new light. I knew that something needed to change and that began with me. If I didn’t step up and do something I would be stuck in this negative thinking forever. As soon as I walked in Kristen was so sweet. I felt like I was hanging out with an old friend. You know, someone you don’t see often but when you do it’s like no time has passed. It also helps that you get to know her and she gets to know you before the shoot via email.
Her space is so inviting and warm. I felt right at home. I could talk to Kristen about anything and everything. I was able to open up and let loose. I wasn’t thinking about if I looked fat. I was feeling beautiful and sexy. I was in a different headspace. The best word I’ve found to describe it is empowered.
When I was at the photo shoot, something changed. Its like something inside me clicked.
“I left that day feeling so empowered and sexy. Which I hadn’t felt in about a year. I drove home dancing and singing like no one was watching and if they did….I didn’t care. Enjoy the concert. It was hard for me to appreciate this new mommy body, but not anymore. When I got to see my photos I was over the moon. I could finally see what my husband sees. I was finally able to love me. All of me.“
I wanted to scream it from the roof. I could see ME! The real me. Gone was the shy and self conscious woman and here before my eyes was a strong, powerful and proud mother and wife. Yes, I weigh more than I did before having my son. Yes, I breast fed. Yes, I had an emergency c-section, but you know what….that’s what makes me beautiful!
I would never again body shame myself. I look in the mirror everyday and see a sexy goddess who can do anything she wants!
Be on the lookout for part 2 from Miss L…