My experience about society’s beauty standards was that I was never pretty or well even average. My nose and ears were always too big. When I was younger, I was always too bony! Now I’m fluffier! It’s taken many years to figure out my style and how I fit in. I’m still not at all happy with the way I look. It seems for the last 20 years I’ve been messing with yo-yo diets and exercising off and on, just trying to see if I could look better. A couple of years ago, my sister-in-law did my makeup and hair for Christmas Eve and to be honest I didn’t realize there was a beautiful swan anywhere to be found. I had just accepted that I was doomed to be the ugly-dumpy-duckling!
But then, I saw this post on Facebook looking for people 40+ with less than perfect bods to do a boudoir shoot. I thought what the hell, I fit both profiles! So, I went ahead and booked my session. Due to a family emergency I had to reschedule. My makeup session date was like three months out, so I thought no problem, I can diet and workout and maybe by some miracle I won’t look like Peppa Pig in the pictures. God had other plans as I dislocated my spine, got that fixed and the next weekend was hit from behind in my car further messing up my back. After back-to-back rounds of steroids, I ended up with the flu. Meanwhile time was ticking, and my session day was getting closer and closer. Needless to say, I didn’t get to lose any weight and probably gained a few pounds prior to my session.
On my session day, I was a complete nervous wreck! I had bubble gut and really wanted to just toss my cookies everywhere. Actually, I was so worried about puking that I refused to eat anything before the session. The entire drive from Nashville to Ashland City, I kept trying to think of excuses to just cancel. My husband had already found out about the shoot, and even he told me that it wasn’t necessary!
I remember sitting outside of the studio, I had my phone in my hand and I was going to send Kristen a message on messenger and say, “Sorry, I just can’t do it!” I looked up and Kristen was in the doorway with a big smile on her face motioning me to come on in! I’ll have to say her, and Meghan were so friendly and delightful. They had me chatting away and laughing from the moment I walked in. Within minutes my fears had subsided, and I was ready to “get it over with.” Then once the photo session started, I literally felt like a Rockstar. I just imagined this was how professional models felt.
It all kind of felt surreal. When I went to see my pictures, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I wasn’t average, or even a little bit cute. I was BEAUTIFUL and I was one HOT MOMMA!
I picked out my pictures and ordered my honey and anniversary present of a lifetime. When I got the link for my mobile app, I went to send my hubby one picture and accidentally sent him the virtual album. Big mistake…LOL He said he wasn’t able to concentrate all day from looking at the pictures!
So, I tell everyone now, if this is something that you have ever thought about doing, go for it. Don’t put it off. Every woman should have the chance to feel as amazing and beautiful as I did that day and as I do now every day since. Kristen woke up a tigress!
