Miss J is 41, a single mom to a very busy 17-year-old, a full-time nurse, and recently decided to go back to school for another nursing degree. Her life is cheer, basketball, softball, school activities, three dogs, two cats, three puppies and whatever adventure she can squeeze in between.
She’s also spent the last 7 years on a weight-loss journey.
And for a long time, boudoir was something she admired other women for doing.
Just not something she really saw herself doing.
“I have always admired the women who did these sessions, but honestly never envisioned myself actually going through with it.”
There was always a reason to wait.
She wanted to get where she wanted with her weight first.
She was busy.
Her daughter is headed to college soon.
Spending that kind of money on herself was hard to justify.
And even after losing the weight?
There were still wrinkles. Loose skin. Stretch marks. All the little “imperfections” that made being photographed in lingerie feel a whole lot scarier than admiring someone else’s pictures on Facebook.
Then 2026 changed everything.
The Facebook post she found in the middle of the night
In January, Miss J suddenly lost her mom.
Her mom wasn’t just Mom. She was her best friend, her go-to person, her biggest supporter and the co-pilot who traveled with Miss J and her daughter everywhere.
The three of them did life together.
Losing her left Miss J shattered.
A few weeks later, unable to sleep, she was scrolling Facebook in the middle of the night when one of my posts appeared looking for women over 40 for a boudoir opportunity.
She filled out the form.
And then basically forgot about it.
Until my email showed up.
Suddenly this thing she’d always admired other women for doing wasn’t hypothetical anymore.
It was her turn.
“I thought I was going to vomit.”
Now, Miss J is a planner.
So naturally, she prepared for her session like there was going to be an exam afterward.
She tried on her outfits multiple times.
Practiced poses and facial expressions in the mirror.
Got her nails done.
Drank her water.
Exfoliated, moisturized, used her serums and did hair masks.
Then she spent the 1½-hour drive to the studio giving herself every positive affirmation she could think of.
It was working, too.
Until she pulled into the parking lot.
“All of the self doubt I had squashed on the drive up flooded through my mind and for a second I regretted doing any of this.”
That’s the part I wish more women could see.
The women whose finished photos you see weren’t necessarily sitting in the parking lot thinking,
DAMN RIGHT. I’M SEXY. LET’S DO THIS.
Sometimes they’re sitting there wondering what on earth they’ve gotten themselves into.
Miss J just got out of the car anyway.
And then something changed.
Once we got started, she realized she didn’t have to know how to do any of this.
I guided her through everything, even the tiny details.
And the woman who couldn’t imagine feeling comfortable standing around in lingerie…did.
By the end, she wasn’t trying to talk herself into feeling confident anymore.
She left feeling empowered, confident and sexy.
Then came the photos.
“It was me, but it was a me I had never seen before.”
She expected there would be photographs she didn’t like.
There weren’t.
And that’s probably my favorite part of Miss J’s story.
Not that she suddenly became a different woman.
She’s still the 41-year-old mom.
Still a nurse.
Still running kids everywhere.
Still has wrinkles, loose skin, stretch marks and all the things she once listed as reasons this might not be for her.
The difference is that now she’s one of the women she used to admire from the other side of the screen.
When I asked what she’d tell the version of herself who hadn’t done it yet, her answer was simple:
“You are going to rock this!! Forget everything, embrace the moments, and have fun!!”
Sometimes the woman you’re watching do the scary thing isn’t that different from you.
Book your session at kristenfonville.com 💜
