My experience with society’s beauty standards have always been a struggle. I believe women with all body types are subject to stereotyping or some form of prejudice. Most people assume skinny people have it easy. They can eat whatever they want and never gain weight. It’s never what it seems…… My road to self-love is a long road.
Growing up, I was always the “skinny girl” that never fit into any clothes. My mom would sometimes make my clothes because I could never fit into anything. I had serious struggles in middle school. This was a rough time for me when all girls were going through puberty and maturing physically. Boys and girls can be cruel when you are “flat as a board”. It can really take a toll on your self-image when you are already trying to fit in but do not quite look like anyone else. I obviously was on the later end of the body developing spectrum.
I went to an all-girl high school. This is the time when I became ill. I started having symptoms of Celiac Disease but was not diagnosed until I was 24 years old. I struggled even more in high school to gain weight. It appeared as though I was losing more weight. Some girls even called me anorexic or bulimic. I would eat lunch and then get violently sick afterwards (I can’t blame them for thinking that way) I was sick and tired all the time. I also started dating a guy who became emotionally, physically and mentally abusive to me. He always told me I was “too skinny” or “why aren’t your boobs as big as ____?” After more than 2 years of the abuse, I finally got the courage to leave him. Eventually, being sick and then dating someone abusive, I became numb and didn’t care about myself. I struggled with college and relationships.
Luckily, a few years later, I started to date my husband. He’s always made me feel like the most beautiful woman in any room at any given time. Even 18 years later, he still tells me this wherever we go! At 24 and 88 sickly pounds, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. I finally had answers to why I am “so skinny” and could never gain weight or I would lose weight when I wasn’t trying. I was malnourished as a child/teen and even into early adulthood. My body didn’t “grow up” like it should have.
I was finally able to embrace that I was made this way and I am ok with that! I still struggle with finding some clothes or bikinis that don’t fit just right but I now know that’s every woman! After 15 years of being on a gluten free diet and having a daughter…. I love myself. ALL of me. I love my stretch marks because it means I grew the most gorgeous 16 year old I’ve ever seen and without those stretch marks, she wouldn’t be here. I constantly tell my daughter how beautiful she is inside & and; out and she reminds me of the same thing We build each other up every chance we can. I want my daughter to know that’s what women should do for one another and as often as possible.
When I booked my session, I was more excited than anything. I have always wanted to do one for my husband and approaching my 40th birthday seemed like the perfect time. I was more overwhelmed by the outfit choices than anything. There was so much to choose from! Kristen has an article and suggestion for EVERYTHING. I almost felt like I should be asking so much more but she literally covers everything. From the moment I first contacted Kristen, she was so friendly and sweet! During the shoot, she constantly made me feel like a PRO. She encouraged me throughout the whole photo session. My only concern was that I wasn’t going to look like myself since I don’t wear that much make up. After the photo shoot, she sent an article addressing this concern as though she read my mind! LOL. She’s amazing. She is the best hair fluffer, sheet washer, body posing, outfit picking photographer in the Nashville area. We talked as though we have known each other for years.
It was such an amazing experience. I am ready for another! It’s like a tattoo. After the first one, you’ll want more 😉
