It may be hard to imagine that someone who once modeled on the runways of NYC would have issues with self-worth. But I am a tried and true example that even though your waist may be little. It doesn’t mean you don’t hate and criticize yourself any less.
I was a shy 16 year old girl who jumped up to 5’7 almost overnight. I got an amazing opportunity to work in NYC for a summer doing some runway. In my parents’ defense, they thought it would help my confidence.
I’d meet new people and force myself to interact more. Sure, public speaking after that summer was lots more tolerable. But I can’t say it did much for my self-esteem.
Modeling is auditioning, meeting agents, going to casting calls and getting rejected. Alot. One time, I meet several agents at once in a competition for upcoming models. That’s where I heard, “You’re too short to do serious runway work. Your bust and hips were too small to do swimsuits. You don’t look American enough.”
“I felt lower than pond scum. After that summer, I didn’t pursue modeling anymore. My self-esteem was shot and I decided I needed to focus on having a normal, happy life rather than being famous.”
I found an amazing group of girlfriends that give me loads of support and strength in the journey to loving myself inside and out.
I was on the dating scene for 10 years before realizing a good guy friend, that had been in my life for many years, was the person that makes me my best self. The person I want to be with forever.
It was him, my husband now, that helped me understand my lack of self-worth. That happiness isn’t based on how beautiful you are but how you feel inside. And I wanted to do this shoot for him, in honor of our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple.
Still, my biggest fear about doing a boudoir shoot was that I would be too critical of myself in the pictures. That I wouldn’t like any of them because you would be able to see a break out, or scar, or spider vein.
Kristen makes the experience so easy and fun. You forget about all those little things and focus on having a great time. Working with her and Brie was like hanging out with my girlfriends. We laughed, talked makeup/ hair tips, and told stories about our families. It was such an uplifting day and it felt great to be around women whose job was to help you feel awesome about yourself!
I ended up liking so many of my photos. Kristen helped me put together a beautiful book for my husband which blew him away. If you’re worried about your body not being perfect, I encourage you to push that negativity aside. Embrace this experience.
