I was scared to death

What prompted you to do your very own boudoir session? 

There’s always a story behind every photo. With me, there was years and years of tears, self-conscious looks, and always a huge fear of myself. Having been in the wrestling world for nearly twenty years, I thought that no matter what people saw or said to me, it wasn’t “The Real Me,” not the poor little girl from the sticks, the shy and the hidden person behind what people see. But now, I can show myself what so many others saw, the confidence and the beauty that I had either been too scared or too shy to see. I wanted to see what truly would be on the film and know that it was me and only me.

Plus size boudoir photo in black

How did you feel about doing something like this? Nervous, scared, 100% confident

Oh, I was scared to death. I overthought everything and kept second-guessing myself. I knew that Kristen was an amazing photographer, so I knew that was set, but what would I see when things were done. After the photos were finished, not only did I feel better about the entire experience, I felt strong confident.

Naughty plus size boudoir photo

What did it feel like before doing the session? What was the range of emotions you experienced?

There were so many emotions flowing. Just as the espresso was flowing through my bloodstream that morning, the nerves and the feelings finally started to even out. It was exhilarating, exhausting and amazing!

Boudoir photo on bed

How did things turn out? Did any of those emotions come true?

Oh, the nerves were there. You could see it or in my case, hear it. When I am nervous, I talk and talk, a bit too much, as usual, but everything was worth it. The journey is always the greatest story.

Plus size kneeling photo

What did you want to accomplish with doing a shoot? Did you achieve it? And if so, how does that make you feel now that you’ve accomplished it?

I wanted to see my true self, not the person I have hidden inside of all my life. I wanted to be able to show that no matter who you are or where you came from or what you di in your life, the common denominator is you. Do this as a gift, not only for that person you wanted to dress up for, but also do it for you! After all, the only person we ever have to face is ourselves each morning.

Plus size boudoir photo eyes closed

How has your confidence changed since doing the shoot?

Oh, my insecurities are still there, but I do see a change in my outlook. I want to feel like a whole person again, and this experience showed me that confidence can always be rebuilt, but it takes courage and guts to really face it.

Romantic plus size photo

What advice would you give to other women thinking about having a boudoir session or wanting to build her confidence?

Really think about it. Make a list of whys and why most and do it anyway! The confidence and self-worth that you have or need to find is hiding behind your own skin.